Scleroderma . . . Why Me?

When a chronic disease strikes it is only natural to ask, "Why me?" I was on the board of Directors of the International Association of Near-Death Studies (IANDS) in Utah for about 5 years and heard many near-death experiences (NDE). One gentleman who has since passed on told me about some things he learned during his NDE and that he was shown that he chose his disease so he could learn lessons quickly. He said we face five pains in this life that are our mentors not our tormenters which include:

• emotional,
• intellectual,
• mental,
• physical, and
• social pain.

I have experienced strong doses of emotional, mental and social pain, but had been spared chronic physical pain. Although I tried to understand what others suffered, I did not have genuine empathy until I faced the physical limitations and pain that comes with scleroderma. My heart has become much more tender toward those I see who physically struggle.

At a very young age I received a strong belief in God, and contracting scleroderma has not shaken my faith in Him. I can see his handiwork in orchestrating my life such as having children move to California where I can get proper treatment and enjoy a more moderate climate. I believe we face the challenges of mortal life so we can gain the maximum benefits possible for learning each vital principle necessary for us to adequately progress. The process might seem tedious at times and often difficult, but the results are worth any suffering each trial demands. The pains of this life will reap eternal rewards for those that diligently strive to face each hurdle head on and use faith in God and his son Jesus Christ to rise above them and move forward with steady strides. Although we might stumble on occasion, they are there to pick us up to help us reach our goal. It is my goal to face scleroderma with, patience, strength and courage and focus on what I can do instead of my limitations.